Sounds like torture doesn't it? In reality there is a huge feeling of relief, hence the talking and exhaustion. It is hard work for anyone. Often a person does not want to talk about what has happened. In your case your BF knows you will want to hear what happened and my guess is he would find that a bit scary. I hope he is going back to the psych as this is clearly what he needs.
Can you tell him you will not ask and he can tell you when he is ready. Remember this is his way of trying to not hurt you. And yes, he is hurting you by not allowing you to comfort him. The black dog of depression can make us believe all sorts of untrue things about others and ourselves. May I suggest you tell him you love and miss him and would like him to come home.
Say that you believe his own home is the most comfortable place for him. My guess is that he is not telling his friends what happened in the therapy session and they are giving him the space he needs. If you can do this in your home with him it will help enormously. Hi Rose Thank you for your response.
2. Be there to listen
I feel I've read almost the whole Internet about depression and I'm trying my best to understand what he is going through. He consistently tells me he is getting help to make us better, that he loves me, that he wants to come home but doesn't feel he is in the right head space for it yet. I do understand all this and want to let him have his space. I constantly tell him I love him, and I will give him whatever he needs to heal.
If he needs space, a shoulder, just hugs in silence, I will be there for him. My biggest concern that I left out as I fear I'm not ready for the answer is where he is staying - he told me it was with his friend, but I'm seeing a lot of evidence via other friends social media that he is staying elsewhere. At another womans house. I've already expressed to him I am concerned over this closeness he has with a female I don't even know. He never admitted he was or wasn't staying there, just that he had his work setup at both friends houses in case one of them wasn't home.
I've asked him to come over tonight after work as I needed to see him. When I ask, he comes without issues, but I do not expect him to stay. Sadly, I'm fully expecting he will be going back to her house. Without telling me. I should trust him. He keeps telling me he would never do that to me, but I think the big issue is we met and got together while he was at the end of another relationship.
He didn't break up with her straight away, but doesn't know I know this. It just keeps eating in my head that perhaps I am now her. And then I sit here feeling guilty I think this way about him, that I doubt his love for me so much I would think him capable of doing that. He has never shown any signs of being interested in anyone else But he isn't home with me anymore.
He's 'home' with her. And it just hurts. I am worried I am going to push him away with all of this, but I don't know how to approach him, to let him know that his misdirection is what hurts more than staying with her. If he was straight up, I would at least be less suspicious about his intent and figure its just him staying at a friends house.
And reading over this after letting my own feelings, instant reactions and emotions drop away, I seem insane and selfish. I trust him. I love him. I shouldn't be second guessing or distrusting him, nor should I be shocked he ddoesn't want to tell me he is staying with her considering my panic attack over it recently.
I think a lot of my worries and fears are from my own things, so I am finally admitting I need help working through this and will be seeing a doctor tomorrow for me. I am struggling having him away. I moved up here to be with him and haven't really built my own support base just yet, so I'm realising I rely on him too much for my own emotional stability and that cannot be helping him at all.
For now all I can do is be as supportive as possible. Give him the space, let him know I am here for him whenever he needs me. Leave my own fears and worries to myself and let him focus on his own emotions rather than having to deal with my insecurities and emotions all the time.
Dealing with Teen Depression - jyhoxafi.cf
We might not trust you to show us these things because of that. Welcome to the world of depression. Depression is an illness that has a thousand different faces. You may have certain symptoms one day, and entirely different symptoms the next. It will be confusing and frustrating, to both of us. Change is terrifying, and one of the most difficult things. This sounds straightforward, but you need to be prepared to have a friend who openly — and proudly — lives with depression.
We will give up on support, compassion, and love at different times. But we still desperately want people to be there, because we all need support. There are so many people who will spit out advice to us about making our lives better, but will not implement that advice in their own lives. Acknowledge your shortcomings, and learn to change. Very few of us are taught how to actually be supportive to the individuals in our lives living with mental illness.
You have a lot to learn. We have a lot to learn.
- How to be a good friend to someone who has depression?
- What to Say When Someone Is Depressed.
- 1. Become informed.
Supporting others through their challenges is never easy, and having your own fortified support systems in place is critical to sustaining your support. Ultimately, your life will never be the same again.
Depression Steals Your Soul and Then it Takes Your Friends
Always make sure you've got the time to do your favourite things. Make time to relax. Relaxation is great for helping you to unwind and deal with stress. Set boundaries. Ask for support.
What can I do now? Find out more about what to do if they don't want help. Set aside some regular time to look after yourself. Read more about depression.