I was lead to this posting via a friends post of your post on taking away your kids toys, which I loved. I have not been blessed with any children as of yet… however, I have plenty of family and friends who do and I will be sharing that post with them. I wanted to thank you for sharing your story. We all have one. We all have demons. The more light shed on the subject the harder it is for folks to live in the dark. Have you ever considered writing an e-book or guest authoring on other websites? I know my readers would appreciate your work.
This is a really amazing testimony from the heart. Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing — thank you. Those people are perhaps not well aware that most vehicles today already rely greatly on computer software and electronics. This is often a serious consideration, especially in families with history of diseases that require long-term care. Real estate prices and property rentals on Balboa Island in Newport Beach are out of reach for most budget travelers, but the beaches and the sights from the pier are extremely affordable.
I needs to spend some time studying more or understanding more. Thank you for fantastic information I used to be searching for this information for my mission. I feel you are telling my story. Exactly my story. I am still in that dark hole. And yes, I do have a therapist.
Thanks for sharing. I believe you. I wondered for hours if I should check into a mental hospital or if the entire slew of memories that left me so hurt was even real. I had to have imagined it. No one could be that cruel to a little girl. Surely, as I grew older and was abused by more men, I had made some choice to make it happen…?
Even more frighteningly, how could I have nigh forgotten for years? And why were the memories still so cloudy? But I remember the steps I took slowly healing and walking away, and I remembered silently facing the fear, still keeping it a secret, even from my loving husband. I believe you, because I know how hard it is to face the truth. You need to be a part of a contest for one of the finest sites on the internet. I am going to recomm. Thank you for sharing this difficult story. I went through some abuse as a child, but nothing to the extent that you did.
After that, it was a continual growth process to discover who I was and am in Christ. I believe God is using your story to give many women hope. I am currently going thru a very difficult situation and have gone thru treatment this past year for PTSD. I feel as others do such gratitude to you for sharing your story. There is light at the end of these dark tunnels. Keep it up!! Thank you so much for writing this!
I Know that pain not as severe of a depression as yours but none the less the pain. Could have written this myself babysitters husband had done the same to me and my sisters although his wife and our parents knew which seems to be harder but have gotten through it just watch my daughter like a hawk. There are many, many of us who need to be reminded we are not alone, and we WILL get through this. Your amazing grace is amazingly beautiful. As a nurse I fear that I will not have enough empathy for my patients with depression.
Although there is only so much I can do for work within 8 hours. I am proud to have read your story and will bring it to the bedside with me. You are helping me understand a little more. Continue your journey of amazing grace…. Ruth, By now you must realize how unalone you really are. There are so many of your sisters out here in the world who have experienced the shame, guilt, torment and depression of childhood sexual abuse, reaching far into our adulthoods, yet who have been showered by His amazing Grace and able to look up, and see light through the darkness.
I was 8 or 9, possibly But the beautiful thing is that today, I am healed. Healed of the guilt, the shame, the torment, the secret, the PTSD. Healed by the grace of a God who adores me. Your story? And someone out here will read it, and it will stike them as familiar…and they will find comfort in that. And, perhaps, who know? Even find the meaning of Grace. What a noble, vulnerable way to step into the uncomfortable and share your story.
No doubt it will bless many. Praying for you as you seek Him for strength and the words to encourage others. I was just happy to read your ideas. But sharing your story blesses me.
Join Kobo & start eReading today
I still feel so close to the edge sometimes. A person must have love and they must have support. I am sitting here in work and in tears. I stumbled across your blog today looking for tips to declutter my life and then saw your story. I feel in someway a higher power brought me here and I wanted to thank you. I have been struggling silently with depression and seriously contemplated ending my own life or atleast taking self harm further then simply some cutes, and this is just a beacon of hope. Just wanted to say thanks for your story and I am glad that you are okay and that you have a brave spirit to reveal the information to everyone.
God will Bless you for your words of encouragement. I just found your blog and I honestly am so proud and amazed at people that share their stories without holding back. You give the rest of us courage. God bless you. Thank you for sharing your story of love. I, too, embrace you for your courage in writing about these painful events and I am so happy to hear how far you have come from those stormy days. I, too, was sexually abused as a child.
My offender was my brother. It seems my body wants to give out at the same time as dealing with this and other stressors. Anyway, I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate your strength and honesty. Thank you — you truly are a gift from God. Patty O. D and depression but its maintained through a lot of hard work and making sure also to get rest when needed ect and gods help and love x x x x x.
Can i ask you, as you have 2 daughters, how do you protect them, or make them aware of sexual abuse. Hi Loonita, Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. My husband and I are very vigilant about who our girls come in contact with. We have tried to create an open line of communication that encourages honesty and assured them that they can always come to us not matter what the topic.
I hope this helps. I am awestruck that I would come upon your story and read the death of the abuser is what triggered the memories. Thank you for being courageous enough to write this post. When I remembered after the death of the man who violated me — and confronted my mother — I lost my entire extended family and my mother for the umpteenth time.
Im sorry for you pain, so sorry, but so helped to have a sister who believes me. Hi Wondering if I can share this on my web show? Also in my meetings with women whom have similar stories to bring comfort and healing??? Wow, Ruth…wow. God really is our redeemer! I thank you for sharing your story it truly touched my heart. I too was abused as a young child and so was my older sister by our neighbor and praise GOD that he guided us thru the pain, shame and humiliation. The doctors did what they could do and so did the counselors but it was the power of GOD and the strength of our parents that raised us up and helped us.
Are you still married to your husband? I can relate to your story in a way and I have found someone who is 20 years older than me as well. Thank you so much for sharing and your courage to do that. I too suffer from major depression but also alcoholism. I was nervous too, about putting that out there, hurt family members and such.
But you gave me a little boost I need and I thank you! Have a wonderful and safe weekend! Have you ever gotten mad God for the cruelties He allows. I mean He could stop it you know. Why doesnT He??? I am a very old woman and have been where you are God is love? For who,the victim or the monster????
Faith, depression and finding hope | Others Magazine
Hi Ruth. After weeks of watching your beautifully crafted videos as a student of Elite Blog Academy, I was dumbfounded to read this post. I was clicking through your blog and marveling, as usual, at its impeccable design and ultra-useful content, when I came upon Amazing Grace. Thanks for being so generous with your readers and students. You have given me motivation, inspiration and know-how! Sincerely, Sandra. Wow what a story your has been,and did your husband turn his life to God? I am new to your site ,great ideas. Thrilled by your story. Have only read the first part but am very thankful for you!
God has obviously turned your life around to inspire others! You are very talented in your writing skills and communication. Your creativity is amazing. I look forward to your emails every day! Wow… I found you because I was looking for some blogging tips because I want to attempt to turn my blog into a source of income for our family and found this… I have suffered with depression almost all my life.
Not for the same reason, but depression comes from many sources and I have been in the process of telling my story too. Thank you for sharing. Obviously, God had plans for you. I just found your website and LOVE it! I also am amazed at your courage in sharing this very important story. Your story is bringing tears to my eyes.
I have been abused verbally and emotionally. I am in the middle of going thru a divorce. Today, I was blaming myself for not being the pretty perfect wife, organized at all times, house spotless, makeup on on my off days. Forget the fact that I worked hard, have a grad degree, am in medicine. None of that counts when I think that I was perfect enough for him so he cheated on me the entire length of our marriage.
Thank you for having the courage to bare your soul and in the process, helping countless others. Many blessings to you! Thank you for sharing…. You inspire me so much! I actually came across you and your website by accident and I am so glad I did. So I am very thankful for YOU!!! Keep doing what your doing….. Just so you can inspire so many others, like you do for me. I will keep following you, visiting your sites and purchasing your books because from day one when I came across you…there was just something that clicked for me with you.
It made me want to get my old life back of wanting to leave my house, doing stuff with my family, getting my house in order, but most of all doing things for me and LOVING myself again. Thank you so much for what you do!!!! This is my story minus the suicide attempts. I have never been suicidal but it is a definite struggle everyday to deal with the demons.
Oh my word Ruth, I about have tears coming down my face. First of all this is so incredibly brave of you to share! Thank you! Knowing that people like me, a classmate during your time of abuse, were clueless. My mind is spinning trying to think back during those years…. Could I have noticed? What grades were we in the same class? Did I know that man? I had been to your house more than a handful of times. Because even though you were hiding all this, and very good at it you were still surrounded by faith and love.
- Just Hold On: a Journey Through Depression with Faith and Hope on Apple Books.
- The Chase: Part One, The Rescue Mission.
- Splash 14: Light & Color (Splash: The Best of Watercolor);
- Posts navigation?
It gave you the foundation to get through what later in life, seemed like a living hell. You found God again and he held you in his hands for so long.
- A Prayer for Faith and Hope in a Hard Year?
- Bright Lights and Fairy Dust: Mattters of Life and Death.
- Turning off Bathsheba Spooner;
- The Ladies Paradise (Oxford Worlds Classics).
- Santé Beauté Longévité Et Bien Etre Par Des Gymnastiques Simples Et Douces (French Edition).
- Should I Forgive?.
Never letting go. But, that after all those terrible, sad years you made it out! What a story you have to share! God had a plan for your life. Who knew back then, you would be all over the world in social media, etc getting to be a positive light! Thanks again for sharing! I run our Jr High Youth Group and am going to share bits and pieces…..
Why is it so important that we build our Christian foundation? God sticks with us! Ruth — you are strong for speaking out and we are all stronger for being given the opportunity to experience the healing that you have had. So many suffer but the stories of bravery are what get us out of the pit and back into the life we should be living. I still sang the songs. I'm a minister -- I have to. But I was a fraud. I stopped talking with God. What could I say to the One who was not delivering me?
What praise did I have? I could list my blessings, but I could not feel gratitude. I hid my faithlessness like a bobby pin in an updo. Everything looked composed on the outside, but I was barely holding it together. I was not faithful or pious. I felt abandoned and alone. As my depression worsened, I learned more about it. I read books. I found doctors who understood my condition. I stopped fearing medication. I met other people who struggled like me.
We learned to hear sorrow in one "hello," and how to sit with each other without words. I began to believe that depression was not a personal weakness or failure. By accepting it, I began to manage it. When I felt joy, I appreciated it all the more. I started to trust the healing process. But I missed my faith in God, religion and worshipping community.
Oddly enough, death is the purview of the religious. We call chaplains into hospital rooms. When someone dies, we go to the altar. Mourners bend their backs and wail. The spirituals express deep sorrow. We gather together with large meals. We don't pretend like people aren't in pain. In those times, we understand when people cannot praise God.
We only ask people to be honest with God. And we don't leave them alone. This is exactly what my depressed self needs: tears, music, good food, raw honesty, community. The same faith that demonizes my depression also teaches me how to have faith in the midst of it. I lost the faith I once had. I stopped believing that God only loved me if I was happy and peaceful.
I also gave up on the idea that depression was punishment or isolation from God.
Just Hold On: a Journey Through Depression with Faith and Hope
I can't enjoy the same songs. I cannot bear the same sermons. That faith is gone. Just like the hours, weeks or months I lose to melancholy. Though I was doing everything I could to get better — I still had a great relationship with my family, I still had good friends — the only thing that pulled me through was the comforting presence of God and his words in Isaiah "When you walk through the fire I will be with you. Then I realised my journey actually had purpose and meaning.
Are there specific people in your life who have been especially inspirational to you? I could never speak highly enough of my parents, who were so patient and never once doubted my ability to overcome this. We went to counselling as a family. My twin sister Rachel and I are very similar in many ways. Rachel is the visionary and I am a details person; she sees the person I could be and believes in that.
What I love about my parents and grandparents is their dedication to actually helping people, their hunger for social justice and how getting their hands dirty was part and parcel of their faith. You have made quite a few solo trips overseas. How has that travel impacted your life? My first trip to the US, in when I was 21, was to visit friends I met at university and it was the first time I was really stepping out on my own.
I went back in , and my third trip was for an internship with To Write Love on Her Arms a non-profit dedicated to helping those with depression.
That was hugely formative because it taught me how to communicate with people who had different beliefs and different values from me and I learnt more about mental illness. Journalist, social media director, graphic designer, copy editor and web designer — what is it that impels you to communicate?