In her book How Toddlers Thrive , she addresses these questions and much, much more. Yet one of the crucial lessons of her book is that routines and the rhythm of the day provide the structure in place so our young children can have the freedom to play, to develop, and to build the foundation that can allow them to thrive later in life as healthy, adjusted, and fully-functioning adults. From that perspective, although there is much more wisdom in her book than can be shared in this article, here are some lessons I learned about parenting young children when I talked with the toddler whisperer.
The crib as a metaphor for raising a child: kids need boundaries so they can have guidance but also freedom. So every day there are routines. First we put our socks on, then our shoes, and then we go outside. Which is similar to when your child is in the crib and has some safe place or structure where they have the freedom to wind down and rehearse what happened at the end of the day before falling asleep. We 'overadultize' them. And as soon as kids can talk, we make all these assumptions about their maturity level.
And the crib is this safe place where they can just exhale. So I literally see it as a metaphor for raising a child. If you put the structure and boundaries around them, then he can roll around in his crib or play with his animals, or look at books or whatever without you there. For children two to five, it should limited to no more than an hour a day. But before the age of five are the years young children are learning the most important basic skills of self-regulation , delay of gratification, and handling of emotions which are being set up in the brain.
Where the screens interfere with that is they pull children completely out of the here and now. Screen addiction may soon be a real clinical term.
Raising Well-Balanced Kids
Programs are being invented to stop people from checking their phones. Some children have imaginary friends, some create blocks or trains and they come up with stories. And language comes from that. Children are surrounded by screens, so they are going to be in their lives, but if we use them as pacifiers and think our children are going to get smarter we make a mistake. No kid can self-regulate that. Realize that your child may not be just like you, and that can be a good thing. We tend to try to mold our children to be like us.
So much of it is getting to know yourself. Ultimately all of us want our children to be polite, kind, decent human beings, but the toddler years are not the time that children show that, even though they may model us. I see something interesting over there. Let me just go over there and look at it.
If I see myself as polite, then toddlers are going to be very very embarrassing 24 hours a day. But I can promise you this much: when we have more objectivity and see ourselves as separate from our children and their behavior, we are much more likely to be able to guide our children in a loving, supportive, yet firm way.
We all go into parenting with expectations.
Some of them are worries and trepidation. Lots of them are expectations of what it will be like. This might not be fun all the time, but if I see that my child is really just trying to figure out who they are, I actually enjoy being a parent more. How do I get my child some limits and boundaries but still let them be who they are?
And who they are is not always so socialized at this point. Toddlers are not there thinking they want to make you look good. Their role is to figure out who they are. Let your child play and have the freedom to create and fail in their own way.
- 2. They tend to teach their kids social skills.!
- A conversation with the toddler whisperer, Tovah Klein!
- Louisiana Alphabet.
Creativity is about thinking, curiosity, imagination, and decision making. If a child really feels that they can trust themselves and feel good about their ideas, they can spiral that into anything they want. Well I can bang with it and it makes these spots. I can go round and round and it makes these squiggles. And these squiggles look like an animal! But that really comes out of being able to try things and test things and make what we might call mistakes—you know try it one way and then try it another.
Many would prefer that young children spend their time tracing letters, obediently following adult directions, or matching figures on a worksheet. But this view of play is an adult view. The Toddler Center—which I direct—is based upon the notion that if you place young children in a stimulating, safe environment that is set up for their exploration, supporting them as necessary, then they will naturally engage with their world, explore, discover, and yes, learn. And that is the essence of play. We have lots of checklists, when did your child start to talk, run, does your four or five year old know how to read yet.
So we live in a competitive parenting time. What we call mistakes or failing some children do not see it that way. All of that is learning. We worry so much in this competitive era about learning. Adjust your definition of success, especially for your young child at this time.
Especially for parents who are pretty well established and have done well in life, and because we live in a hyperaware era with the internet and all the media outlets that scare us, we worry. Everybody has their way in the world, and if you take that approach you see development as a kind of zig zagging pattern, but in this era we tend to see it as a very straight line. One of the things hyper competitiveness does is make children become more misunderstood.
Studies have shown that the ability to speak two or more languages builds mental flexibility, strength and resilience. And with more than half of children being born today expected to live to years of age , strategies that keep our minds nimble and young are more important than ever.
But foreign language skills offer more than that: The ability to communicate effectively and naturally with people from different corners of the world.
As the de facto language of global business, ensuring your child learns English should be your first priority. English is spoken in countries by an estimated 1. From science and medicine, to law and business, a strong command of the English language is essential for success. An early start matters less than a continued commitment to learning it, ideally in an English-speaking country where immersive learning can work its magic. Ensuring children do well in school and get into a good university are important, but so is looking beyond the obvious and into a rapidly changing world where creativity, adaptability, emotional intelligence and intercultural skills will matter more than ever.
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Back Topics. How to set your child up for career success By Kaisa in Language learning 3 min read. Teach them to adapt Experiences that push your child outside their comfort zone will make them much better equipped to face the future. Help them connect The ability to connect across all kinds of barriers already sets apart the most successful leaders, scientist, business people and artists. Value languages Studies have shown that the ability to speak two or more languages builds mental flexibility, strength and resilience.
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