Manual Intimacies: A New World of Relational Life

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Physical or emotional intimacy. For other uses, see Intimacy disambiguation. For sexual relationships between non-human animals, see Mating system. Polygamy Polyandry Polygyny. Cicisbeo Concubinage Courtesan Mistress. Breakup Separation Annulment Divorce Widowhood. Emotions and feelings. Types of love. Cultural views. Related subjects. Biological basis Love letter Valentine's Day Philosophy Religious views Falling in love Mere-exposure effect similarity physical attractiveness triangular theory of love. This section relies largely or entirely upon a single source.

Relevant discussion may be found on the talk page. Please help improve this article by introducing citations to additional sources. March Learn how and when to remove this template message. Counseling Individuals Through the Lifespan. Sage Publications. Intimacy: As an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Physical intimacy is characterized by romantic or passionate attachment or sexual activity. Policy Press.

Communication, Intimacy, and Close Relationships. Intimate Relationships 5th ed. The best of times, the worst of times: The place of close relationships in psychology and our daily lives. Canadian Psychology , 48 , 7— Handbook of Closeness and Intimacy.

A Q&A with Terry Real

Psychology Press. Prentice Hall human sexuality. Prentice Hall. Social Indicators Research, 69, — Attachment and Relationship Visibility on Facebook". Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.

Sexual intimacy is sacred and beautiful

Historical and cross-cultural perspectives on passionate love and sexual desire. University of Wisconsin. The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships. The following scriptures and resources can help you deepen your knowledge of the doctrine related to this topic. As you study, consider ways to share this doctrine with your children. Choose from these ideas or think of your own to introduce the principle that sexual intimacy is sacred. Following the guidance of the Spirit, select one or more of the following activities that will work best for your family.

Intimate relationship - Wikipedia

Elder M. Your ability to have these discussions with your children will have a long-lasting effect on their lives. Help your children recognize that much of what the world teaches about sex is incorrect and that Father in Heaven has given them these powerful feelings to bring them unity and joy in their marriages. Acknowledge that they will probably have more questions, and invite them to come to you whenever they have questions. They should not only feel welcome to discuss their questions and concerns with you, but they should also expect you to follow up regularly with them.

When you discuss these topics, be sure to create an environment where your children can be honest and receive clear, direct answers. Addressing Pornography. FHE Lessons Sexual intimacy is sacred and beautiful. Sexual intimacy is sacred and beautiful. Prepare Spiritually The following scriptures and resources can help you deepen your knowledge of the doctrine related to this topic. Introduce the Doctrine Choose from these ideas or think of your own to introduce the principle that sexual intimacy is sacred.

Ask your children why they think God wants us to marry and have a family. Teach that sex is an important part of strengthening marriage and bringing children into the world. It is something that Heavenly Father gave husbands and wives to share and enjoy. God has asked us to use the sacred gift of sexuality within specific bounds. When we obey this commandment, we can experience great unity and joy within our family. Display pictures of your children when they were infants, or other family pictures. Share with your children your feelings about when they were born.

Express your feelings about being able to create life and bringing children into the world.

Intimacies : A New World of Relational Life

Explain that sex is meant to be an expression of love that enables children to be born. When we often focus on the negative consequences of breaking the law of chastity, it can sometimes be challenging for children to understand that sexual feelings are good. It is important to teach that these feelings are wonderful and can help us develop healthy relationships when they are expressed appropriately. In a study [27] conducted on discursive struggles among siblings experiencing transition, all participants acknowledged that moving away from their sibling s resulted in a discursive struggle between the old and new meanings in the sibling relationship.

Two specific discursive struggles were identified:. In a study [29] focusing on the adult stepchild perceptions of communication in the stepchild- stepparent relationship, three contradictions were found to be experienced by the stepchildren participants:.

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In another study, [30] researchers aimed to identify the contradictions that were perceived by stepchildren when characterizing the ways that familial interactions caused them to feel caught in the middle between parents. The participants expressed that they wanted to be centered in the family while, at the same time, they hoped to avoid being caught in the middle of two opposing parents. The main contradiction identified in the study was similar to the autonomy-connection dialectic: stepchildren desired the freedom to communicate and enact the desired relationship with their parents.

However, these stepchildren also felt the need to manage the constraints that resulted from parental communication, particularly when both parents did not cooperate with one another. While the stepchildren wanted to know what was happening, at the same time, they also wanted to be protected, resulting in a second dialectic of control-restraint.

Through this study, the researchers believe that openness-closeness dialectic between parents and their children is important to building functional stepfamily relationships. One study, [31] focused on the relationship and communication between college-aged stepchildren and their nonresidential parents, found two underlying contradictions: parenting and not parenting, and openness and closeness.

Many participants expressed that they wanted their nonresidential parent to be actively involved in parenting them but did not desire it once they were. Participants also expressed that while they wanted open and intimate communication with their nonresidential parents, they felt that they could not closely communicate because of the nonresidential parent's lack of familiarity with the child's everyday life. Relational dialectics theory can be applied to the context of health care, specifically end-of-life care , providing a system for caregiver communication that contains tensions and challenges.

The quality of the end-of-life journey is influenced by how these tensions are managed. When making choices about end-of-life medical care, family members, friends, or surrogate decision makers often experience feelings of tension and burden. In a study [32] that focused on the communication tensions perceived among the Maori culture during the end-of-life journey, it was found that despite the culture's focus on collectivism and its emphasis on harmony, four communication tensions existed between caregivers family and friends and patients: autonomy and connection, conflict and connection, isolation and connection, and balancing the needs of self and other.

The human grieving process is marked by relational dialectics. After the death of a child, bereaved parents often experience tension between presence and absence by grieving their child's permanent absence while still experiencing an emotional bond toward the deceased child. One study, [36] aimed at focusing on how families make sense of contradictory discourses, found two discursive contradictions: family members' wishes vs. Through interviews with participants who had experienced the loss of a loved one, researchers concluded that many of the end of life decisions made by family members, patients, and doctors were centered on making sense of the simultaneous desires to hold on and to let go.

Participants recognized that they experienced tension between their own preferences and the preferences of a loved one, and with that, experienced the tension between desiring to make decisions based on emotions versus making decisions based on rationality.

On Affect, Media, and Measure

Dialectical contradictions have also been found among parents who have lost a child. One study [37] found that two primary dialectical contradictions occurred for parents who had experienced the death of a child: openness-closeness, and presence-absence. Parents experienced openness-closeness when they desired to talk about their child and their loss, yet they perceived the outcome as risky, especially if they sensed that friends and family wished for the parents to move on.

Participants explained that they were able to manage this contradiction by being selective with their disclosure and taking control over the communicative situation. When dealing with the presence-absence dialectic, bereaved parents experienced tensions between the ongoing bond that they experienced with their child, and the physical absence of the child. Participants expressed that when people were not willing to remember their dead child, the physical absence of the child was deeply felt.

However, when people chose to remember the deceased child, the parent experienced feelings of comfort and continual bonding with the child. Applying relational dialects theory to studying interactions of autistic individuals starts from approaching autistic individual as an actor during the interaction and deeming competence a result of the interaction. The investigation of dialects includes integration-separation, expression-privacy, and stability-change enhance the understanding of the communication between people with autism spectrum disorders.

Dialogue is typically a conversation between two or more people. These conversations are what constitute relationships, as communication is the very foundation of any relationship. According to Cools, "the four important concepts that form the foundation of dialogism 1 the self and the other situated in contradictory forces, 2 unfinalizability, 3 the chronotope and the carnivalesque, and 4 heteroglossia and utterance".

While some theorists, along with Baxter, may argue that communication is simply a feature in a relationship, examining constitutive dialogue suggests that communication is actually what creates and maintains a relationship instead. According to Baxter, "a constitutive approach to communication asks how communication defines, or constructs, the social world, including our selves and our personal relationships.

From a constitutive perspective, then, persons and relationships are not analytically separable from communication; instead, communication constitutes these phenomena" [40] When initial researchers studied relationships, they found that similarities, backgrounds, and interests are usually what hold people together while self-disclosure is the root of these components. Dialogic researchers would argue that differences are just as important as similarities and they are both discovered through dialogue.

To understand utterance chains, we must know that an utterance is what a person says in one turn of a conversation.

Introduce the Doctrine

When utterances are "linked to competing discourses", they are considered utterance chains. Baxter believes that there are "four links on the chain where the struggle of competing discourses can be heard. Baxter also suggest that to understand an utterance, we must also understand the discourse. She posits "in the broadest sense, a discourse is a cultural system of meaning that circulates among a group's members and which makes our talk sensical. A dialectical flux is "the unpredictable, unfinalizable, indeterminate nature of personal relationships".


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Spiraling inversion and segmentation are two strategies that Baxter and Montgomery have established to respond to this complexity. Spiraling inversion is generally a no-win situation; a struggle between two different thought processes. For example, if you were to do something your parents did not approve of, you could lie about it, but your parents might yell at you for lying. And on the other hand, you could tell them upfront, and they could be completely quiet in shock. Segmentation is pertaining to more than one role in a relationship that must be altered depending on the situation.

For example, if you were working at your father's shop as a part-time job, he would be considered your father AND your boss. This could mean that he has different expectations of you in different circumstances and his attitude towards you might change between roles. Aesthetic moments are brief incidents in a relationship that bring participants together through the use of dialogue. There is a temporary feeling of wholeness felt between partners involved in this dialogue.

It is easy to see examples of aesthetic moments in romantic relationships, such as a first kiss or a reciting of wedding vows, but these moments can be experienced by anyone. According to Griffin, critical sensibility is "an obligation to critique dominant voices, especially those that suppress opposing viewpoints; a responsibility to advocate for those who are muted". No one person is more powerful or dominant than the other, and they are able to communicate without these imbalances interfering. This does not mean that the dialogue is free of competing discourses as listed in Utterance Chains.

When communicating, we must understand that morals do not apply for all people. Sometimes lying can be entirely minor in communication, but there are oftentimes that lying can majorly affect the perspective of those being lied to. There are several times where most people would justify a "white lie", or a lie that causes no harm. For instance, if your mother was in the hospital, you could tell her she still looked beautiful, even if her appearance was far from it because it would make her feel better.

Other actions that are only followed through based on whether they have a positive or negative outcome are called "consequential ethics". Bok believes in the "principle of veracity" which says that truthful statements are preferable to lies in the absence of special circumstances that overcome the negative weight.

In an area where contradictions seem like the norm, it is even more important to share the truth. Incorporating varying and often times opposite view points is critical because communication is grounded in human nature which forces ethics. According to theorist Leslie Baxter, there are three major limitations in the work of relational dialectics theory. Naturally occurring talk between relating parties could be qualitative work utilizing the observation method of relating parties or small groups.

Non-participative or participative observation would be appropriate for continued study of relational dialectics theory. Baxter also believes that more future work needs to include multiple voices instead of focusing on the more popular research on the dialectics between "two voices". Lastly, Baxter shares that future research should focus on discourse through time, such as studying dialogue and how it transforms over a longer period of time. The latter would take significant time so it would be studies that incorporate earlier works compared to more recent work.