We all have smiled at someone we don't particularly like to be polite or avoid conflict. Along with the smile may be a clenched jaw or averted eyes which are the real expression a feeling of dislike. A limp handshake or resistance to any proximity or touching can signify dislike, indifference or apprehension. While a strong handshake, standing closely, touch on the shoulder or kiss on the cheek can convey the opposite.
Body shifting - You are involved in a discussion and the listener's body shifts away from the speaker, instead of crossed legs toward the speaker, they are crossed away. This can be a sign of displeasure or disagreement with the speaker or what they are saying. Arms crossed over the chest. This may indicate that a person is being defensive or disagreement with the opinions or actions of other individuals with whom they are communicating. Finger tapping or when sitting, the tapping or swinging foot - Is a sign of impatience, anger or both, at to communicator.
However, cultural norms should also be taken into account. What is considered sincere expression of honesty and interest in the U. In many Asian, African and Latin American cultures, extended eye contact can be taken as an affront or a challenge of authority. Remember to observe your own body's reaction to your situations. Don't assume the other party doesn't know how to read body language because they may be reading yours too! In a blink of an eye you see what the other is thinking! Nonverbal communications reveal true thoughts and feelings appear like on a screen.
Even in our time of computers we often disconnect. People still need to meet to read the other's actions, there is a need to express and observe in person. Non-verbal communication is powerful and has meaning. It is a call applied to any situation. Observe the world around you, determine the meaning of the actions. It behooves everyone to detect honesty or deceit quickly and learn to 'read' the silent message of the body. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you.
Elaine D. Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard. Join HuffPost Plus. Christa Dowling. Real Life. Real News. Real Voices. Let us know what you'd like to see as a HuffPost Member. Canada U. US News. World News. Moreover, clenched fists are also a big no during conversations. The arms should not go below the waist level and must always be raised above the waist while speaking.
The arms can occasionally go down but it should not be so throughout the conversation. It is a sign of insecurity. Always avoid holding your arms together in front of your groin area, as it shows insecurity as well. It is called the Broken Zipper position. This is one posture that shows insecurity and submission at the same time and hence, must be avoided at all costs. The ladies must make a note that they should not clutch their handbags close to themselves as they talk as it shows their defensive position and their insecure nature.
There should be no arm barrier when you talking to another person. Keep an open body language and hold the coffee mug at a side. Use the other arm that can point to them and can be parallel to your chest too. Having the arm perpendicular to your chest to point out to others is generally a rude gesture.
Always try to have the arm parallel to the body. Arms and hands have to be used carefully in conversations. The movement of your arms and hands can make or mar your discussion and can alter the outcomes significantly. Legs are far from our eyes and hence, there are high chances that they get ignored by us during our conversations.
However, they do convey a lot of information about our emotions and feelings all the time. The movement of hands and head certainly contributes to the art of positive body language. However, legs do have their own importance and must be maintained in proper positions. The standing leg cross is a body gesture of defiance, defensiveness and submission. This is the posture that is mostly adopted by people when they meet others who are complete strangers. The standing leg cross symbolizes denial to access to the genitals. This is the reason why this posture is considered to be defensive in nature.
Hence, such a gesture shows that the person is not confident of oneself, or in other words, lacks self-confidence. For women, it shows that she wants to stay in the conversation but access to her is denied. Hence, the next time, even if someone looks to be friendly in conversation and having relaxed facial expressions along with proper hand movements, but crossed leg position, please note that the person is not as confident or relaxed as he or she is trying to appear. If a person in front of you is talking to you candidly and yet has this posture, it is better to leave and put the person at ease.
The double cross happens when the person concerned crosses both the legs and arms. This shows that the person is totally uninterested in speaking to you. Such people are not receptive to communication and hence, it is better either to create a quick rapport with them or leave. In this posture, the person locks his one leg over the other and places both his hands on to the raised leg. This gesture shows that the person is totally disinterested in us and is stubborn in attitude.
He is just concerned about his own opinions. In this posture, the person locks the ankles together. The palms may be clenched in a fist or may be placed on the legs or may be even clutching a chair. This gesture shows that the person is hiding some negative emotion, like anxiety or fear or doubt. Such type of body language is usually seen with people who are being charged for some crime or being produced in a court for hearing.
This is one posture that should be avoided as well. In this posture, one of the legs is raised and is locked around the other leg. This is a gesture of shyness and timidity. This one gesture is exclusive to women and is symbolic of insecurity. This is one leg posture that should be adopted by women. It is hardly ever seen being reproduced by any male. This posture gives women a healthier and more attractive look and projects a powerful signal of feminity.
This leg posture accounts for a positive body language, confidence and attractiveness and is considered to be the best leg posture for women. It also gives a youthful look to the ladies. This is one posture that is commonly seen with men and women in the military. In this position, the person spreads the legs apart and the feet is placed firmly on the ground.
This is a posture of dominance. This posture may look good and dignified in the armed forces, but sometimes it can also look intimidating to other people, because the person taking a dominant stand may appear to be authoritative.
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This posture is generally suited for situations when a person who is junior in rank is meeting a person senior in rank. This posture conveys no commitment to stay or leave. This posture, therefore, shows that the person is neutral towards the situation and that they have no closed or negative opinions. Care must also be taken while sitting. This is done mainly to show that the person is occupying space and is trying to be assertive, yet it gives away an altogether opposite message.
This posture shows that the person is not confident and is trying to protect himself or herself by creating a barrier between him or her and the other person. Tapping of foot is also a big problem with many people that needs to be worked on. The habit of repeated foot tapping on the floor is symbolic of anxiety and impatience.
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When people wait to receive exam results or medical reports or anything that has a lot of uncertainty associated with it, they begin to tap their foot repeatedly. For job interviews or group discussions, the legs must be uncrossed and parallel and the feet must be placed firmly on the ground. Placement of legs and feet play a pivotal role in conveyance of messages of the mind and in getting selected at job interviews and group discussions.
Types of nonverbal communication
Facial expressions do a majority of the task of conveying information to the other person. An average person may not be able to read the body language of legs or arms. But almost everyone can read the signals displayed on the face of a person. Therefore, it is of high importance that we maintain a good and acceptable facial expression, lest we are hated by everyone for being non- approachable.
The first expression that everyone looks for in a person is the smile. Smile can be rejuvenating, yet deceptive at the same time. A woman with a tight-lipped smile that reveals no teeth is actually symbolic of her lack of interest in the conversation, although it may seem to an average person that she is engrossed in the ongoing talk. There are many traits of an original smile. Whenever a person smiles naturally, without any voluntary force, wrinkles are created around the eyes. This is because in an original smile, the lip corners are pulled up and the muscles around the eyes are contracted.
In a fake smile, only lip movements happen. People giving fake smiles smile only through their mouth and not eyes. However, what if the person who you are talking to tries to produce a fake smile by wrinkling his or her eyes voluntarily? There is a trick to identify this as well. When a smile is genuine, the fleshy part of the eye between the eyebrow and the eyelid moves downward and the ends of the eyebrows also dip to a slight extent.
There is one more way to detect false smiles. When a person tries to fake a smile, the right hemisphere of the brain — the one specializing in facial expressions — sends signals only to the left side of the body. Hence, a fake smile will always be stronger on one side and weaker on the other side. However, in a genuine smile, both parts of the brain send signals and hence, the smile is equally strong on both the sides. However, if the lips are slightly pressed, the eyebrows are raised and there is a steady gaze of eyes at you along with the head erect or slightly pushed forward, then this implies interest of the person in you.
A lot of information is conveyed not only by how you stand or how you talk, but also by how you move. The style of walking conveys a lot of information about our self-confidence and our mannerisms. This is one reason why the body language coaches teach walking styles to their students. The first thing to keep in mind is that you should not slouch or hunch while walking. The back has to be straight and the spine must be erect. Your head must be upright and your eyes must be looking at the front.
The chin must be up all the time. Most people look down while walking. This is not considered to be elegant. Moreover, if you slouch or hunch while walking, you will be considered to be weak and lacking in energy and enthusiasm. Bad posture while walking, if continued for longer periods of time, can lead to back pain, stiff neck and other serious ailments.
It is recommended to use all your muscle groups in the legs while walking. While walking, try to visualize pushing off with your back foot using your hamstrings and quadriceps, and pushing yourself forward on to the heel of the other foot. Try to roll your foot forward, heel to toe. This helps the calf muscles to work and helps you to keep your feet at the correct angle at each step.
The next thing to keep in mind is to keep the shoulders pulled back, yet relaxed. Keeping a pulled back yet relaxed position of shoulders helps to maintain a stable and vertical column of support while you walk. Along with the straight back and chin up posture, this way of walking helps to reduce chances of injury. This posture also helps to exude confidence and strength.
While walking, the upper body also needs to come into play along with the legs. The arms have to swing properly to project confidence. The arms must move in smaller arc as you begin to walk. The faster you walk, the larger the arc must become. Movement of arms helps to gain a better stride. The pace of the walk also matters a lot. While walking, the pace must be such that you can speak properly to a person while continuing your walk and should not appear breathless at the same time.
Walking smartly also involves not taking too long strides as you walk. Lengthening the gait stretches the leg muscles unnecessarily and leads to destabilization of the stride. Research has found that a little swag of the shoulders has a certain kind of sex-appeal associated with it. While walking the hips must be level and the steps must be of equal length. You must bend your arms at 90 degrees at the elbow and swing properly with the opposite leg.
This helps in gaining balance while walking. The knees must point forward and the pelvis must be tucked under the torso. The head should also not be tilted and must be held high. Last but not the least, land your heel first on the ground, and not the toe. Eyes have such a huge importance in any conversation or interaction that if the language of the eyes go wrong, the entire conversation and the repute of the person goes wrong.
Eye contact regulates conversation and hints about submission and dominance as well. What people notice about another when they meet for the first time are the eyes. And hence, both the parties involved make quick judgments about each other based on the eyes. When someone gets excited, the pupils get dilated and can actually dilate up to four times the original size. Conversely, when a person is angry or in any other negative mood, the pupils contract.
But if the pupils have contracted, then it is better to understand that the person is not interested. This is called as the eyebrow flash. The split second movement of the eyebrow is a way of greeting each other. However, in Japan, it has a negative connotation and hence, must not be used with Japanese people.
The raising of eyebrows during conversation implies submission. On the other hand, the lowering of eyebrows signifies dominance. Those people who intentionally raise their eyebrows are found to appear submissive and those who lower their eyebrows are generally considered to be aggressive. There is one catch here. When ladies lower their eyelids and raise their eyebrows at the same time, it conveys sexual submissiveness. This expression must, hence, be avoided in formal and corporate environments.
It is always recommended that a person must maintain eye contact with the other person to show a level of interest and intent. However, if you keep on looking at the other person for a long time, it may put the other person at some discomfort. The other person may be intimidated by your gaze. If you keep gazing at them with interest, the other people will think that you like them and hence, they will reciprocate with their gaze as well. However, if you find that the other person is not looking at you for a certain period of time and is rather looking away from you continuously, then the conversation needs to end or the topic of the conversation has to change.
If you are unsure of how long you must look at the other person, the safest bet is to look at the other person for the time he or she is looking at you.
Looking away during an interrogation also gives away the cue that the person is lying. The sideways glance can be perceived as an expression of interest or even hostility. When a sideways glance is combined with a smile or slightly raised eyebrows, it can communicate interest and is also a famous courtship signal. However, if the sideways glance is combined with a frown, downturned eyebrows and downturned lips, it can convey suspicion, criticism, or even hostility. The rate at which your eyes blink is also a conveyor of valuable information. However, if you are not interested in someone, your rate of blinking the eyes will increase dramatically.
Increase in the blinking rate of the eyes conveys disinterest or boredom. If the eyes of the other person begin to dart from one side to the other, it implies that the person has lost interest in you and is looking for escape routes to get rid of you. One way to exude authority is to lower your eyebrows, narrow the eyelids and focus closely on the other person. This gives an impression of what predators do before attacking their prey.
Eye contact and eye movements are an important part of our communication skills and also our body language. Hence, it is of utmost importance to maintain a decent eye contact with the other person, without intimidating him or her. Eye contact plays a significant role in sales interviews, job interviews, and in casual conversations as well. Even if the eyes, arms, and legs are at a proper place, the fingers can still play a spoilsport. The hands and the fingers together give away a lot of information about us and the other people as well.
Moreover, when we speak with our hand gestures and finger movements, it is easier for the other person to retain what we have spoken about. Hence, hand movements help in retention of messages too. Let us take a look at the different hand gestures that are commonly observed around the world. The rubbing of palms against each other is perceived to be a sign of expectancy.
Body Language | jyhoxafi.cf
Rubbing of palms together is symbolic of having expectation of positive outcomes. This expression is quite common in sales pitch as well. The sales teams of many organizations tell about an offer to other people using folded hands and palms rubbing against each other. Rubbing the palms at a faster rate shows that the person is thinking of the benefits for the other and is an apparently good-natured person. But a slow rub of hands with a smile conveys that the intentions are devious and the person is selfish. The rubbing of fingers and the thumb against each other shows that the person has an expectancy of getting money.
This is one reason why this gesture must be used with caution in front of people. People who stand or sit with clenched fists convey frustration. People adopt clenched fists when they are anxious, angry or fed up with something, but are trying to restrain themselves. The clenched fists can conceal the negative feelings of the person when the person is losing some deal or is not feeling good about his current experience.
The steeple is the gesture which a person gives by placing his fingers of one hand over the fingers of the other hand and forming a church steeple. This gesture shows confidence and can also exude authority, and in many cases, superiority. This gesture needs to be avoided if you want to persuade someone, as it can give a wrong signal that you are trying to be haughty and are trying to impose your thoughts rather than trying to convince. The face platter is a positive body gesture in which a person, especially a lady, places the fingers of one hand over those of the other and then places her chin on the combination of fingers.
Holding hands back is a way to show superiority, power, and confidence , and is often adopted by royal families, police force, or the military. Along with a straight back and chin held up, it shows that the person holds authority and deserves awe and respect. This posture is recommended to those people who feel tensed during job interviews. If one hand grips the wrist of the other hand, it conveys frustration and an attempt of self-control. As the hand climbs the other hand from the wrist, the level of frustration being exuded increases.
If a person holds his arm with the other hand, it means that the frustration level of the person is higher. One also needs to be cautious about the display of thumb in public. If your thumb protrudes out of your waistcoat or your pocket, it is symbolic of aggressive attitude and dominance. This gesture is usually adopted by people of higher social stature. If a person has kept his hands inside the back pockets and the thumbs are protruding, then it shows that the person is trying to hide some feeling from us. Some people close their arms and yet, keep displaying their thumbs.
In this world of ever-growing deceit and lies, it is very important to know when a person is lying. Catching lies is not that a difficult task provided you know what you need to look for to spot liars.
But it does show that some information is being hidden. A liar always lacks congruence in his facial expressions. When a person lies, the subconscious part of the brain sends out nervous signals that appear as a gesture, thus contradicting what the person has just been speaking. Many people scratch their nose or twitch their ears or even rub their nose. It has also been found that attractive people are found to be more believed in public and hence, many a times, attractive people can get off with lies without being detected or questioned at all.
This is mostly observed in kids. The person covers his or her mouth while speaking a lie. It is an involuntary act of stopping the deceitful words from coming out of the mouth. The mouth can be covered using a few fingers, using the palm s or even using a fist. Some people also try to disguise this act by giving a fake cough.
This also shows that the person is trying to conceal some information. Liars are mostly found to give a quick touch to their nose while lying. It can be a few hasty rubs or even an indiscernible touch of the nose. This gesture must be read along with the other gestures being mentioned here. Sometimes, people suffering from cold and cough can also touch their nose in the same manner and hence, must not be considered as liars.
While lying, the body releases chemicals called catecholamines, which cause the tissues inside the nose to swell. The increased blood pressure makes the nose to swell and causes the nerve endings inside the nose to tingle, thus makes it itchy. Hence, when a person lies, he or she feels an increased necessity to satisfy the itch by continuously stroking the nose. Liars have a tendency to scratch at their necks as well. It is visibly not an actual itch in the neck as an actual itch will need some significant number of rubs on the neck.
But liars just scratch their necks around four to five times and they tend to repeat it many times. Liars also feel some kind of tingling in the ears. Research has found that liars feel a heightened tendency to scratch their ears when they are lying. When a person lies, he or she tends to look away from the person being lied to. This is again one of the acts that hints the person being a liar. The act of lying leads to heightened fear and increased blood pressure, which leads to more sweating.
This leads the liars to feel the heat at their neck and pull their collars every now and then. When people are lying, they tend to appear in discomposure. To hide their emotions and their sense of guilt, they tend to put their fingers in mouth, which is an attempt to appear serious. The way you talk to others matters a lot in building a rapport with them. Pace is the number of words being spoken per unit of time, like number of words per minute.
Pause is the number of seconds or any other unit of time that appears between two words or two phrase or two sentences. Pitch is the rate of vibration or the frequency of the sound wave. Voice modulation helps to make use of all the three parameters and blend them to make an adorable voice. To have a good voice, one needs to have an appropriate pace at which one speaks. Pace is subjective. What is required is that each and every word must be clear when spoken and must not wrap over the previous or the next word.
A pause of 2 seconds is called a short pause.
Positive Body Language - Quick Guide
A pause of more than 2 seconds is considered to be a long pause. Pauses can play a significant role in driving a point and also to bring humor. The speaker must give a pause of 2 seconds after every sentence. A comma is equivalent of 1 quick count, a semi-colon is equivalent of 2 quick counts and a period is equivalent of 3 quick counts.
Body Language Is More Revealing Than Words: How to Read People More Clearly
This is the way a person must manage the pauses between his words, phrases, and sentences. Pitch has to be such that the voice appears pleasant to the ears. Too low a pitch and too high a pitch are never liked by people. Whenever something serious or tragic is being spoken about, the pitch must be low. The things that are associated with joy or surprise can be spoken about in a high-pitched tone.
The loudness of the person must match the loudness of the other person or people involved in the conversation. If the other person is speaking in a low volume, it is unwise to keep the volume high then. Putting some pressure over the words and syllables helps to give importance to those words and helps to carve out the meaning of the words more effectively. There is a way in which pause brings humor. The following examples show it well. How many of you know that, thanks to me, my colleague is expecting … a hike in her salary?